Bringing Europe home

You guys make me laugh. It's comical to write a post "Weeee....I bought a wedding dress!" and get several comments....then write "Oops....time-out. Post-poned wedding!" and nobody knows what to say. There wasn't a death in the family...so no need for condolences! :) I couldn't be more thankful that I'm in a relationship where I don't feel pressured to follow through with something I may not feel quite ready to do. The situation is really a blessing! So have no fear....I'm not walking around in a fragile state. :)

Anyway...I'm also excited to share that a major opportunity has come my way to head-up a missions program at my church for 2009. Tiffany, another young lady in my congregation, also worked with Let's Start Talking (LST) in Japan for 3 years (for 6 weeks' at a time). She approached me a couple months' ago about the possibility of starting a FriendSpeak program within our community, and knew that I had also had experience with LST. As it turns out, we are both trained LST team trainers, and both miss the work we did overseas. So Tiffany got all the information we needed to get started, presented the idea to our missions committee...and we're off! For a while, I wondered if it was really going to take off....but now I see that it will!

My dad showed a short info video prior to his sermon on Sunday, and gave a summarized explanation of what our congregational goal was. I had also made inserts for the bulletin for people to sign up who might be interested. Then...surprising Tiffany and myself...the elders and mission's committee agreed to let us use tomorrow's adult Bible study hour to present a more detailed powerpoint presentation of the program, to answer anyone's questions.

Tiffany has been amazing at organizing all the details. She created multiple types of flyers, business cards, and informational sheets for members to fill out. When we first sat down to discuss short and long-term goals for FriendSpeak, we wanted at least 10 members to sign up, and at least 25 individuals from the community to show interest. Even after just the short informational video on Sunday, we had 20 people fill out the bulletin insert!! That's so great! Tiffany and I hope that after we present more information tomorrow night, we will have at least that many commit to attending the mandatory training sessions we will hold in January. And our launch-off date will be the week after Valentine's Day.

I'm so excited and so blessed to be part of such a giving congregation. Pray that FriendSpeak will be a success in our community and that we will be able to reach out to those who may feel lost in this world. I'll keep you updated!

An addiction

I've been holding off on writing this post for a while, because I wanted to give time for things to settle down a bit before an "official" annoucement was made. I have the bad habit of "announcing" something and then it doesn't happen. Then I feel stupid. But not this time, friends! :D

After coming to terms with the reality of our financial situation....as well as a few other matters....Chris and I have decided to post-pone the wedding. Several things surfaced while we were looking at buying a house and making wedding plans, and it made us realize that we are not quite ready to make that commitment. We've got a lot of things to work through and get in order before we attempt to combine our two separate lives into one. So no wedding in May. No buying a house. No more wedding plans for now. Just continuing to date and get to know each other better while we work out some bumps in the road. I just wish we had made this decision before I had my wedding dress hanging in my room. :/

So what are my plans for 2009? Well I'm glad you asked!! If you know me well at all, you know that I not only adjust to change well...but crave change. Not just a change of wardrobe or a change in attending early vs. late Sunday morning service. A change that requires me to be in a setting I've never been in before. One that makes me uncomfortable and pushes me outside my everyday boundaries. As I write this, I'm looking around at my office DYING to rearrange all the furniture. And I think I've convinced Chris to stop by later today and help me do it. :) But I try to make change a part of my life. Let's look at the past 7 years, shall we?

2001 - moved from North Carolina to Oklahoma to attend college
2002 - worked 3 jobs - Resident Assistant, Taco Bell, and Front Desk attendant in dorm
2003 - got engaged for the first time/broke off engagement/joined LA Weight Loss and lost 40lbs
2004 - took my first trip overseas for 6 weeks/hired as a Freshman Resident Hall Director and Counselor
2005 - returned to Europe initially for 8 weeks....but canceled return trip ticket and stayed an extra month alone
2006 - accepted an invitation to move and work in the Netherlands for a year by myself/sold or threw away everything I owned
2007 - instead of returning to Oklahoma with all my friends, moved to new city in NC with my parents
2008 - got engaged 2nd time/moved in and out of my parents' house 3 times... :D

So what's in store for 2009? Well I don't have a visa to return to Europe for more than 3 month's time....I COULD move to Missouri if I wanted, but probably won't....and unless Chris reproposes this year, I don't plan on being engaged to a third individual. :) So that leaves me with a job change. Much more feasible than the first three, dontcha think? :D And again...most of you that know me know that I've spent my whole life wanting to be a teacher. Some of you may or may not have questioned why 5 years of college has resulted in a secretarial position at a University. And that's a whole other blog in and of itself. However...I think 2009 is the year to go for it! I called the county school system and asked them to walk me through the requirements of becoming a certified teacher in NC. As it turns out, I meet almost all of the qualifications for getting an alternative licensure. I have just come up 3 points shy on the State Education Test. So I have registered to retake it on January 10th....and as soon as I boost my score up 3 points...I'm in! I'll get my results in February, and from there, I look for a job! My hope/goal is to find a 1st, 2nd, or 3rd grade teaching position for the 2009-2010 school year.

*happy sigh* Feels good to know that I will be doing something out of my comfort zone this year. And if Jenny Craig was less expensive, I'd look into losing a sizeable amount of weight again. But there's always 2010.... :D

Follow-Up

As a follow-up to my last email, none of the things we had "hoped" to accomplish (AKA PLANNED) actually happened yesterday. Planning in my life is meaningless. I refuse to do it anymore. *sigh*

Anyway...Kara posted on my last entry that she wanted to see a picture of the dress I bought, and I've already gotten the same request from other people. So since Chris doesn't read my blog, I feel fairly comfortable just posting the link to the dress I bought. Apparently white washes me out, so I ended up buying a "champagne" colored dress....which I happen to think is absolutely gorgeous. Obviously...or I wouldn't have bought it on the spot last Friday! Don't feel obligated to make positive comments if you don't like it...I don't track who reads my blog, and I would prefer sincere compliments, as opposed to forced ones. :D

http://www.davidsbridal.com/bridal_gowns_detail.jsp?stid=2660&prodgroup=10

Don't forget to check out the back of the dress!

Top Reasons Why I'm Not a Planner

Plans for this past weekend were:

• Begin looking for wedding/bridesmaid dresses while my sister is still in town. Look, but not buy.
• Take Chris out on a date.
• Sleep in on Saturday for the first time in weeks.
• Narrow down house-hunting to 3 top houses, make final walkthroughs, decide on a house.
• Meet with member at church to begin getting ideas for wedding cake.

What did happen this weekend:

• Found dress. Bought dress. AND unnecessary accessories.
• Took Chris on date. Chris had major gum pain and nausea. Chris was in bathroom 25% of time on date.
• Got home from date. Chris's face is swollen. Take Chris to ER. Sit in ER till 5am to be given low dose of pain meds.
• Chris can't keep pain meds down. Face gets worse. Pain is unbearable. Call dentists we don't know and beg for help on Saturday.
• Drive like a mad woman to dentist in Raleigh, an hour drive away. Get pulled over in the first 5 minutes of the journey. Cry. Continue on with mad dash to Raleigh.
• Chris has an abscess tooth. Dentist says ER doctor could have worsened the situation. Hate ER doctor. Chris starts to feel relief.
• Get back to Fayetteville at 4:30. Have to babysit at 5:30. Chris stays home and sleeps. Babysit until 1am. Get in bed at 2am.
• Get up first at 7am. Realize it's not really gonna happen. Reset alarm for 9am. Go to Bible class. Make mad dash to Raleigh to meet realtor by 12:30. Spend 5 hours looking through 3 houses. Chris and I choose different houses.
• Mad dash back to Fayetteville. Miss small group Bible study. Meet with church member and design wedding cake.
• Return to house. Surf possible outdoor wedding spots and honeymoon destinations online. Pass out at 11pm.

Today, we HOPE to accomplish:

• Chris returns to dentist for follow-up work. Pain is much less. Left side of face is still swollen.
• Set up joint banking account.
• Discuss 3 houses and make plan of attack.
• Get letter from lender.
• Call/visit possible locations for wedding.
• Double date with Josh and Brianna.
• Retire to bed early.

I need a day off.

Plans for the Future

A lot of people have been asking me what our plans are for the upcoming year, and after we get married. Well...let me tell you!

Last weekend, we started house-hunting. Chris plans on going back to school to get his master's degree either in January or August in mechanical engineering. Right now, his job is based out of Raleigh, so he has to commute over an hour to work. So we are looking to move to the Triangle area, to make things more convenient for Chris with his schooling, as well as his work. Good for me...away from Fayetteville, near a big city, but still close enough to family if I need to make a trip home. I will quit my current job 2 weeks before the wedding, and worry about finding another one after we settle down in our house.

If we happen to find a house now, Chris is able to move in at the end of December, if necessary. That will give us 5-6 months to get the house ready for me to move in after the wedding. Yay! I'm so excited! I still want to do some traveling before settling down, so I really don't know how long we'll be located in the Raleigh area. Chris says he is able to transfer his job overseas, after getting his master's degree...which I would LOVE. But we're buying a house with the intention of being there long-term, so we won't have to move again if unexpected circumstances come our way. We'll just wait and see.

Any advice on buying a house? We're going "shopping" again on Saturday...

Bling-Bling!

So I found out that Chris asked my dad permission to marry me at the beginning of August. Didn't know he was thinking about asking my dad at all...didn't know it was coming...and didn't find out until after my dad had told him yes. So naturally, I expected him to ask ME soon after. Within a week or two, I began getting a bit impatient, and to try and figure out what was going on, I jokingly said "so when do I get my bling-bling?" To shorten the upcoming story, "bling-bling" became a frequently used joke between Chris and myself. I would harass him a lot, and he would pretend he had no idea what I was talking about.

So the night I flew in from Holland, he was there to pick me up....in my favorite shirt of his, and smelling all nice. I didn't think twice about it, as I knew he had missed me, and figured he just wanted to look good upon seeing me again. When we were walking out to the parking lot, I jokingly said "So which dark corner did you park in?" He laughed and said "Actually...this parking lot is pretty well lit...I couldn't find one. So I just parked over there." I thought it was odd he actually had an answer for my sarcastic question, but went with it. We walked to the car, and it was parked further away than I would have thought. He usually parks as close to the door as he can, for me. Still...I didn't make anything of it. He unlocks the car for me, and when I open the passenger door, there is something laying in the seat. I can't tell what it is, but I assume that it's my roommate's (as he had used her car to come pick me up). Then I hear him say "Do you like your bling-bling?". I was confused, so I picked it up to find fake gold, diamond studded teeth. I laughed...thinking "Okay...okay. I got it. I'll leave you alone about the bling-bling." I figured he was trying to get me to stop harassing him about proposing, and just giving me some "bling-bling" to shut me up. Regardless, I thought it was funny, and asked if he could open the package for me. He began to open the package, then handed it back to me. While I was focused on opening the package, I heard him say "What about this bling-bling?", and I turn to see him down on his knee, holding up a ring. I look at him, and he says "Babe, will you marry me?". But I think he's joking. I figured he was REALLY trying to get me back now, and had gotten a ring out of a bubblegum machine as payback. So I just stood there and said "Are you serious? Is this a joke? Are you for real?". He laughed at me, smiled, and said "Yes, I'm serious". But because he laughed, I couldn't tell if he was still pulling my leg or not. And I was in shock, so I repeated my first line of questions. Then he asked me again, and put the ring on my finger. When I semi-realized he was serious, I bent down to kiss him, and he stood up. A couple minutes later, he said "You never really answered my question". Then I said yes, of course!

But before you think I'm a jerk, telling him that I think the ring he's given me is a bubblegum machine ring...it actually wasn't real. He proceeded to tell me that he had specially designed my ring, and it was currently being made in California. But he didn't want to wait for the ring to be finished to propose. So right now I'm wearing a "pseudo" ring, waiting for my real ring to arrive! They said it would take 4-6 weeks to make, and it's been 2-3 weeks....so hopefully we're halfway there. I can't wait to see it! From what he said...it's gonna be absolutely gorgeous! I'm gonna get my 'bling-bling" after all. :D

Now we're planning a wedding on May 16, 2009...somewhere here in Fayetteville, NC. Willemijn, Sheritha, and hopefully Harro are flying in from Holland for the event, and I couldn't be more excited about that. If you're up for flying in, as well....know that you will have a place to stay, if you do! Just let me know! :)

By the way....in case you were wondering. His last name is Davis. By the middle of next year, I will be known as Amber Davis. Weird.

3 Weeks Overseas!

Time to play catch up! I got back from my "3 week vacation" (which happened to be a surprise visit to Holland, in case some of you missed that), and have been busy trying to get back in the groove of things. So much has happened! But I'll back up to the trip, first.

I flew out on a Tuesday, and arrived Wednesday morning. Willemijn was there to pick me up from the airport. We spent several hours catching up at Starbucks (only one of those in the Netherlands!) and took the train to Eindhoven, the city I used to live in. We grabbed lunch at our favorite "hot guy chinese place", and walked 30 minutes to Sheritha's house, where I stayed for 2 of the 3 weeks I was there. That night I got to see half of the church members again. It was good catching up and seeing how everyone was doing.

The following day, I sat in the center of Eindhoven for 4 hours, having sent an email to my old students to stop by and meet me, if they could. I had 4 show up that day, and 4 contact me, letting me know they wanted to meet up with me later. We had a great time, and the weather was fantastic. I went to Eindhoven without any "touristy" plans, so that I could spend the majority of my time with friends and old students. For the first weekend, I attended a singles' retreat in Germany that I used to attend when I lived there. That was absolutely fantastic. There were 7 countries represented by 38 attendees. And I even met someone who has been reading my blog for the past year! Hi Sue! :) That was crazy! But mostly, aside from my 3 day trip to Germany, most of my time was spent having lunch with that student, and dinner with this friend. It was fun! I got to meet up with Harro, my old flatmate, and truly enjoyed myself. He is such a great person...and we always had SOOOO much fun together.

The third week I was there, a woman from church told me that I could borrow her husband's car for the week, as he was in Germany on business. I was ecstatic! I knew I would need to travel back and forth from Willemijn's to Sheritha's house (an hour drive) several times, and it would save me lots of money on train tickets. So Willemijn and I planned a "touristy" day and drove to see "Ark van Noach". A Dutch man built an ark, half the size of the measurements given in the Bible, and just finished it last year. It was very cool. I have lots of pictures to show, of course...I'll try to relocate my Flicker account and post the link to all my trip pictures soon.

All in all....the trip wasn't anything new or exciting...just a lot of time spent with old friends. We went to the beach one night, and I made sure I got my share of fries with mayonnaise and ketchup chips while I was there. And I brought plenty, plenty of amazing tea back with me. I have plans to go back in the future, but my 3 weeks' there will sustain me for a while. :) Who doesn't love Europe?

Weekend Plans

Seeing as how this weekend will be our last weekend together for the next month, we're looking to do something fun!

For the past month or so, every time the trailer comes on TV for "My Best Friend's Girl", Chris gets real excited and says "I wanna see that!". It's funny to me...because he never gets excited about movies. I'm always the one saying "c'mon....it'll be gooooooood!" Every once in a while that comment will convince him. But mostly, he knows only one of us will come out of the theater feeling fulfilled. :) But given his excitement over this newest release, (don't get me wrong...I want to see it, too!) we've got date night planned at the movies tomorrow night. Typically, I'm not a fan of going to a movie on the opening night. But I'll make an exception!



Saturday, we're supposed to have beautiful weather, so we're trying to plan a bike ride somewhere nice. Unfortunately, the last trip we took to Murtle Beach (3 hours one way) about killed my rear end. As you can see, I don't have a backrest, and the pegs for my feet aren't so great, either. So we're trying to find a nice location within a 2 hour drive. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

A Weekend Away!

Ever since I have met Chris, I have worked two jobs. Time together consisted of weeknights at my parents' house, or a maximum of 4 hours on Saturday afternoons to do something together. We've only taken one "vacation" together...and that was to his parents' house in Tennessee (AKA NOT a vacation :) ). So now that I no longer work on the weekends, we can have some fun! This past weekend, my new roommate, Shawna, had to take a class in Greensboro to renew her nails' license...so we made a weekend of it! The three of us piled in the car on Saturday, and headed to Charlotte for a full day at Carowinds Theme Park. I LOVE rollercoasters! As you can see on the right...I was pretty excited...smilin' the whole way! To the left is Chris and myself standing outside Carowinds, ready to go in!

Throughout the day, I rode everything I thought my ghetto booty could get out of! On the right, Chris and I had just ridden "White Water Falls"....fun! It was a GORGEOUS day..perfect weather...and not too busy, either! Towards the end of the day, we walked by a characature stand....which I LOVE...I just think they're great...and it seemed as though there was a guy training. The actual artists were busy with people, so Chris and I went over and started talking to Blake about his work! He told us he was in the 2nd day of training, and was a senior in high school. He then said that because he was training, he could do a complimentary drawing of me. So I said "sure"! Meanwhile, one of the other artists got done, and came over to check out his drawing. She asked if we had wanted a real one done...and after asking about the prices, I decided to have one done of me and Chris. She asked if we wanted a scenery...and after thinking about it, said "Can you draw him proposing to me? I want to know what that looks like.". Then I gave Chris a cute, innocent smile....he agreed...and here's the product! Quite good, don't you think? I even think I'll take the wedding dress she designed into consideration! :)

After Carowinds, we drove to Greensboro to stay the night. Shawna had

her class from 9-5pm on Sunday, so Chris and I found a local church and attended it. I made Chris take several pictures with me, because it's rare I get him in a dress

shirt and tie. :) After church, we picked Shawna up for lunch and ate at Fuddrucker's, dropped her back off, and headed to Lake Mackintosh to rent a canoe for a couple hours. It was a fantastic and relaxing weekend. We definitely needed the time away from Fayetteville, and I'm glad my schedule is now more open to weekends like this!

Picture Story

The latest update in my life (in picture form...)

I quit waitressing last week.....

and Eric deployed, so I moved in with Shawna...

I miss the Piazza's foster boys terribly....

But I hope to see my own booger in October!

My brother moved back to Jordan for 4-8 months...

...and I'm going on vacation in 11 days!

I've lost 20lbs...

and my boyfriend is still just my boyfriend. :)

Out of Commission

I've been really proud of myself lately. I joined Curves 3 weeks ago and have been going regularly every week with a friend from church. In fact, I've lost 10lbs since I've joined! Which is the news I got so excited about when I fell....

At Curves, there are 10 hydraulic workout machines that each works a different muscle group. But in between each machine is a "resting square", which is a 2x2 square that sits about an inch off the floor. I always start on one of these squares, running in place, to get my heart rate going. Well yesterday, I began running in place as Abby (Curves instructor) was checking my weight progress. When she told me I had lost 10lbs since I joined, I hooped and hollered, and more than likely waved my arms in the air. While doing so, I wasn't paying attention to where I was on the square, and my right foot slipped off unexpectedly. I immediately lost my balance, and fell down on my left side, hitting my right knee on the square on my way down. Once the fall was complete, I was sore, but having had this happen *multiple* times, I just rolled on my back, laughed out loud, and waited for the immediate pain to dull before getting up. Abby noticed my elbow was bleeding from carpet burn, so she left to get me a band-aid for that. Shawna (my friend from church) sat next to me, just shaking her head at my clumsiness and laughing with me as we joked about my clumsiness.

A few minutes later, Shawna attempted to pull me up into a sitting position, when I realized something was terribly wrong with my left hip. I could not sit in a 90 degree position, without being in excruciating pain. Then I realized I couldn't move my left leg at all...not to turn over, not to sit up, not to bend. I began to get scared, afraid I had popped my hip out of socket. However, I didn't want to alarm Abby. So I laid back down, and when Abby wasn't around, I whispered to Shawna that something was seriously wrong. She asked me if I wanted her to call her husband to come help, and I said yes. So she went outside to call him, while I continued to try and convince Abby I was fine. If I was laying straight, I wasn't in pain. So that's the way I stayed....trying to keep a smile/laugh going the whole time. Shawna's husband, Eric, showed up 5 minutes later and started asking me questions about my pain. He concluded that it wasn't my hip, but seemed to be my hamstring instead.

Eric and Abby helped me to my feet, which is when I then realized it was, in fact, not my hip. But once on my feet, I was unable to put my weight on my left foot at all. So using Eric as a support, he got me to Shawna's car, and they took me to their house. I called Chris and my parents to tell them what happened. My dad told me that according to my description, my hamstring had been pulled on "level 3"...the worst that can be done without ripping it. There was concern that I had ripped it, but that idea was ruled out when we could not find a knot on the back of my leg.

Chris called a medic from church, who said I needed to ice it for 24hrs, then put heat on it for a few days afterward. Needing pain medication was an understatement, and I was worried about how I was going to make it through a night of sleep without being able to move my leg! Going to the bathroom was not possible, as the back of my thigh was so swollen, I was unable to bend it at my rear. Fun stuff, that was!

Fortunately, the pain meds did their job, and I was able to sleep pretty well throughout the night. I have kept ice on it constantly, although the swelling doesn't seem to have gone down much. Here's the comical part. Apparently, due to the large amount of pain that pulling my hamstring has caused, I failed to realize how badly I had injured my right knee. Today, I decided to get in the shower, as I HATE feeling gross and unclean when physically limited. When I was in the shower, I looked down to see that my knee was....well...HUGE....and pretty ugly. I was kinda shocked. I knew it was a little sore...but good grief!! I had Shawna take pictures of it after I got out of the shower. In the left picture, the huge lump at the top is NOT my knee....but the swollen part of my leg under and to the left of my knee. My kneecap is actually the red circle/scar from a previous fall (yeah...it happens a lot :) ). To the right, is a picture looking straight down on the bruise/swollen part of my leg. Again, the knee cap is actually the small circle on the bottom left of my leg.

So yay for time off work! Too bad I had to pull my hamstring to get time off, though! Pray that I heal quickly and that this doesn't keep me down for too long!

Lesson #1

It appears as though word is out.

I was in discussion with a professor last Wednesday, when we both admitted our attempts to find a position at different institutions. While I didn't think twice about revealing his intention to leave, he felt rather comfortable expressing mine at a departmental meeting the next day. Ummmm....I had not planned on that being public information so soon....but...oh well! Lesson learned the hard way.

So for the past few work days, I have had individuals (even some not in the department where the announcement was made) who have come to me asking "if what they heard was true". The good news is that I now have a list of individuals who have offered to be references for me in securing another job. That feels quite nice. :)

So while I have not officially resigned, and nothing has been said to me by my boss(es), it seems as though it's becoming common knowledge. Who knows? Might be better this way. At least I have 5 weeks of transitioning out with people's awareness, instead of the normal 2!

Too Many Thoughts

I couldn't sleep last night, so I decided to play with my blog template for the first time. Although I was up until 4am, I STILL can't figure how to play with the title of the blog, as Kara and Allison do so well on theirs! I must be missing something. So now you'll just have to figure out why I decided to put a picture of "Dead End" at the top.

At least until I figure out how to make the title beautiful. :)

The Last Straw

I have always struggled with the distinction between not letting others run all over you...and sticking out the hard times. How do you decide when enough is enough?

I have been employed at Fayetteville State University since last October. When I began, I was the secretary for the Department of Marketing and Business Education as a temp under the Department Chair. A temp, only because she needed me to start immediately, and it takes time to make someone a permanent employee. However, within the month, I was told that they had begun the process of making me a permanent employee (complete with a yearly salary and full benefits).

May 15 of this year, my department split, and Marketing combined with the Department of Finance, while Business Education combined with Business Administration. I assumed that was the end of my position, but was told that they wanted to keep me, so they would create a position for me. At this point....7 months later....I was still not of permanent status. I was told that beginning in May, I would continue to work with Dr. Jewell (whom I had been working for since October), as well as with the Assistant Dean in the Pre-Business Program. Alright...works for me. The Assistant Dean then began piling projects on me, informing me that she was going to teach me "all she knew", so that I may transfer to the university's research department at the end of the summer and spend the upcoming year creating summary reports for FSU. Cool...I liked that idea. At that point, the assistant dean pushed for my permanent status to go through...and more progress was made.

One random day in June, I was asked if I knew anything about Second Life. I told them that I was familiar with the program, but not sure of all the details involved. They (Dean and Assistant Dean) were excited, stating that they were hoping to launch a trial run of a virtual classroom in the '08-'09 school year, and wanted me to development a virtual campus in Second Life, and learn to imbed projects in the "walls" of the Second Life FSU campus buildings. Wow...pretty awesome! So for two weeks, I did research on 3D equipment and Second Life maintenance costs. Shortly after, the Assistant Dean asked me to edit the cost list on the grant proposal they were writing for the funding to follow through with this idea. Low and behold...on that grant...was a request for $60,000 to hire an individual to do exactly what they had asked me to do. It was at that point, I realized I apparently was no longer included in this idea. You've got to be kidding me!

I kept my mouth shut and simply continued coming into the office everyday, no longer sure of what I was expected to do, or who I was to answer to. In July, the Dean walked into my office and informed me that I was now part of the "support staff" to the Dean's office. At that point, I questioned what had happened to the other propositions that had been made to me, and he blew them off, telling me that he didn't know what I was talking about. So now...I'm the THIRD secretary on call for the Dean's Office. Not so great. And in case you are wondering...I'm still a temp.

Last week....I get an email from the Dean, informing me that I am expected to personally assist a professor for the semester in writing a journal for our building. Two days after that, I receive an email (sent only to me) asking me to enroll in a 7-week online "class" on Adobe Acrobat 9, as I should consider myself the "point of contact for Administrative Tech Support". Let me summarize everything at this point. 6 different job descriptions expected in 3 months' time....6 different bosses to answer to on a regular basis....and still a temp.

But yesterday was the last straw for me. My old (and one of my current??) bosses (who my office is connected to) was in between meetings and asked me if I wanted to go to lunch. So we grabbed our things and ran out to grab lunch real quick before her next meeting at 1. When the 1 o'clock meeting was over, she came back to the office, packed up her things....and left to go across campus to another meeting. 5 minutes out of the office, she calls me from her car to inform me that she had been escorted downstairs by the Assistant Dean and told that she is not "allowed" to take me off campus to lunch unless she has asked permission from my boss. When. Dr. J asked who that was....the Assistant Dean proceeded by giving her SIX names of people with whom she was expected to ask permission before taking me out to lunch. She was then told that they "desperately needed me" to make copies for the 1 o'clock meeting, and because I was unavailable, they, themselves, had to skip their own lunch to prepare for the meeting. Mind you....I was in my office until 11:40am with no pressing projects. No one had acknowledged me, nor asked me to make preparations for the meeting. And yet....my boss...or old boss....whatever....was reprimanded for taking me out to lunch when they "needed" me. And not a single word was said to me. Not one.

But what if that had been Chris taking me to lunch??? Or my parents??? Would they also have been escorted out the building and informed that 6 people's permission had to be granted for me to leave?? I don't think so!!! My blood is boiling as I'm writing this, knowing that there are 5 other secretaries in the building that do not require permission to eat lunch, and are just as capable of pressing the "start" button on the copy machine. I'm done. That was it for me. It was all I could do not to hand in my resignation yesterday, after such a thing was done to an innocent party. But I gotta wait it out 3 more weeks. Then I'll submit 6 copies of my resignation letter to all of my "bosses", and announce my last day at this institute will be Friday, September 19.

I mostly needed to write this blog to see it in writing and make sure I'm not making this decision erraneously. If you are still reading...props. And if you have any opinion, suggestions, or comments...feel free to help me out. Right now I'm just trying to lay low and keep my mouth shut. I'm hoping my resignation letter will say it all....

Age or OC?

This past Sunday morning, in class...we discussed Ecclesiastes 4. Within the discussion, we were asked to list the loneliest groups of people in the United States. And someone mentioned 'singles' as being one of the loneliest groups in the states. But I didn't get it. Why? I have, within the past few months, truly realized how early my friends have committed themselves to starting a family. Along with the discovery of a newly engaged friend or expecting mother, an automatic rolling of the eyes takes place. Don't get me wrong. Love boys. Love the idea of marriage. Love kids. DON'T love the fact that I, myself, almost got married at age 20. An age at which I didn't have any credit history, had never lived outside the confinements of a curfew, and was not able to imagine my life outside of the church college group. And I wanted to commit the rest of my life to someone who knew as little about reality as I did? Awesome.

What I can't decide is whether it is due to the pressures of our American society to reproduce at an early age...or if OC (and other CofC universities) really is a marriage factory. My first freshman roommate is married with 3 kids. Freshmen that lived in my dorm while I was a Resident Director are already acting as Martha Stewart to the love of their life. I...on the other hand...am 25 and still have no desire to produce mini-me's. My nephew is good enough for me!

Not to say that individuals who choose to marry young shouldn't. I just can't comprehend how I would have gotten through it. I definitely would not have been able to experience western Europe for a year by myself. And I definitely don't consider myself lonely because I'm not married. I've never felt that way. And in Europe...it's considered the peak of your life! Getting married prior to age 30 is rare. Your 20's is a time to discover yourself and what you want out of life. I sure didn't know what I wanted at age 20...and it's unbelievably difficult for me to understand how others do.

Despite the ranting and raving...I have reached a milestone in my life. A full year committed to one guy! :) Who would have thought? So here's to my relationship to Chris, as we celebrate our first year together this weekend. And although it's in my plan to marry before I'm 30...don't expect to see any little ones running around in the near future...I've still got to visit Italy and Australia!

A Day's Work

It's not every day you get to see your boss fall facedown on the floor.

At times, you may even dream of this happening. Let me reassure you, though....it's not all it's cracked up to be.

I was sitting in my office on Monday when my boss came back from lunch. She walked into her office, put her leftovers down, and came back into my office to talk to me. However, on her way into my office, she stumbled and had to grab a nearby cabinet to keep from falling. I asked her if she was alright, and she said she suddenly got dizzy. I asked the routine questions ("did you eat anything at lunch?", "have you taken any medication today?") that led us nowhere. She sat down, talked to me, then slowly made her way back to her office. She came back in again, still not able to keep her balance, to ask me a question. Upon answering, she returned to her office (which is connected to mine, but not visible from where I sit) to search for an email from me. I then hear her say "Amber, I normally don't complain, but I am just feeling awfully dizzy...". Then a second later...

Thud

My first thought was "Surely that wasn't her falling down. It would have made a louder noise than that. That sounded like she dropped a textbook on the ground". So I sat still for a second. When I didn't hear the typing of the keys on her keyboard, I called out her name. No response. Immediately, scenes of CSI and Grey's Anatomy shot through my head...where the camera comes around the corner, and the first thing you see is a head and arms lying lifelessly on the ground. And I contemplated how I would react should I see such a thing. I also realized that if she WAS on the ground, and I continued to sit there....that might be more of an issue. So I get up from my chair and come around the corner to see her facedown on the floor, not moving. Holy Moly. Had it been a day later, I would have thought it was an April Fool's Joke. However, it was the last day of March.

I quickly picked up the phone and called the first number in my head, so I could get someone in there with me. I dialed the Assistant Dean's number and simply said "Can you come down here fast??" and hung up the phone. I then went back into my boss's (we'll call her Joan) office and got down on the floor next to her. Her hair was everywhere (it comes down to her waist), and I couldn't tell where her head was facing. As I'm trying to move her hair out of the way, to see if she's still breathing, the assistant dean comes in. She takes one look, gasps, and I instruct her to call 911.

Then she runs out the door. Huh??? "Get back in here! Call from this phone!"

So she comes back in the room and I hear her dialing. I look down, and Joan's eyes are fluttering, so I know she's breathing. I keep calling her name, in between answering questions to campus security, who need to know where we are. She comes to, while the assistant dean is on the phone, and immediately tries to get up. I keep her on the floor and she begins insisting she is okay, and that she doesn't need anyone to come. I encourage the assistant dean to make sure someone comes to check her out.

20-25 minutes later, an ambulance has been called, and the office is filled with medics. They check several possibilities and ask 10 rounds of questions. They conclude that while the reason she fainted is not an emergency (high blood pressure and a yellowish hue to her skin), they highly advised that she immediately go see a doctor (as she refuses to go with them) to determine exactly what happened. However, she lives 30-35 minutes away from campus, and nobody was going home until they knew that she was not going to be driving for the night. So I canceled my evening plans and assured the medics that I would take care of it. She has no family here in Fayetteville, so there was no one to call to come pick her up. So I drove her home in her car, and had a friend follow me to bring me back to my car.

She called the next morning to let me know that she felt fine again. She has taken two days off of work to rest back up and should be back tomorrow.

An exciting day at work...no?

Born Special

I simply HAVE to share the following email with you.

My freshman roommate, Kara, filled out a survey a couple days ago. In the survey, she answered this question:

"37. Who is your loudest friend? Amber! You should hear her laugh... she was born with over-sized lungs... "

When I saw that, I busted out with laughter, forgetting ALL about my "over-sized lungs". So with that in mind....here are our emails following that survey...

"Haha....Kara....I loved reading this particular survey. 3 things I learned:

1) I didn't know you hated your smile! Crazy cute....you're cute through and through...no "ands" or "buts" about it!

2) I haven't sang "Can He Still Feel the Nails" since OC. I even forgot about the song! Thanks for the refresher...now I gotta see if I can find kids in OC chapel singing it on youtube or something! :)

3). Hahahah....I about died laughing when I read "she has over-sized lungs"!!!! I had TOTALLY forgotten about that. In trying to remember how that came about....all I can remember is that I was apparently trying to explain to something why I laughed so loud, and that explanation just fell out of my mouth. But do you remember who...or when??? Lol...thanks for the trip down memory lane.

Love you lots!

Amber "


"Haha!! I remember you using the oversized lungs a couple different times, but I think the first time (at least that I can remember) was when we were at a movie. It was just you and me and we were sitting there before the movie started, talking, and we busted out laughing really loud. The people in front of us turned around and you go, "I was born with over-sized lungs." HA!!!!! It was sooooooooo funny. I loved it! :o)

I hope that you're doing well. I think about you a lot and all of our good times. I should call you sometime. I want to catch up.

Love ya,
Kara :o)"


I gotta keep that excuse in mind....it was great! And people actually believed it, too! Thanks Kara!

Gotta hear it!!

For those of you who might not be the biggest country music fans....put your dislike for twangy sound aside and listen to the song below. You won't regret it...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gh7icqR9zEY

Weighed Down!!!

For those of you who know me, know that weight management has always been a struggle for me. If I set my mind to it, I can lose weight quickly and easily....but am able to gain it back JUST as easily and quickly. I remember feeling a bit awkward, but mostly comfortable wearing a size 12 jeans in high school. Despite a bit of argument with my mother, I remember weighing around 150lbs (68 kilos). Not too terribly overweight for my height.

Then college came, and with it....an abusive relationship and an additional 55lbs (24.9 kilos). If you were to ask me when those pounds were added on....I couldn't even begin to tell you. I was oblivious. It wasn't until I was weighing over 200lbs (91 kilos), recently single, and suddenly aware of my physical limitations that I decided to do something about it. So I joined LA Weight Loss in Oklahoma City and got my weight down to 162lbs (73.5 kilos). A 40lb weight loss...not too bad! I became comfortable with that weight, despite my goal being around 140 (63.5 kilos), and quit going to the consultations.

Soon after, the first of my many trips to Eindhoven took place. Lol....seeing as how riding a bike wasn't my ultimate gift in life, and I wasn't a fan of walking very much....the love of good European cheese, bread, and potatoes settled back around my waist. Senior year of college left me at a solid 185lbs (83.9 kilos). At this point...you may be thinking how unhealthy it is to have such a yo-yo type weight lifestyle. And I agree. But it keeps going.

Living in Eindhoven for a year helped me shed 30lbs without a thought. Before I left, I realized I was down to 152lbs (68.9 kilos), without much of an attempt or even an awareness that I was losing it! I was finally LIVING a healthy lifestyle! No feeling deprived of my favorite foods, paying an organization to tell me what I already know, or feeling the need to force exercise into my daily routine. It all came naturally. I loved it!

Needless to say, I haven't had the same results living in the states. I pretty much gained those 30lbs back and am now back to where I started. So two weeks ago, another lady from church and myself joined Weight Watchers to get the weight off for good! I have a more realistic goal set for myself and hope to not only accomplish that goal...but stay at it, as well! I'm going to attempt to update on here every once in a while to keep myself accountable. We are beginning week 3 today, and I will go to a meeting after work and weigh in. I lost 6.2lbs (2.8 kilos) at my first weigh in, and hope to have lost another 5lbs (2.3 kilos) at today's meeting. I'll let you know!!

Here are some "before and after" pics of my time in Eindhoven. The left is the second week I moved to Eindhoven (June 06), and the right one is a couple weeks before I left for Eindhoven (March 07).

Let's Get it Started!!

Okay...let's get in back in the swing of blogging, shall we?

In the past 4 months....I had 2 awesome weeks with Willemijn, driving halfway across the country whiling touring a few new cities....be in my best friend's wedding....move BACK in with my parents in January....continue to work 60+ hours at both jobs....and celebrate Chris's 32nd birthday.

Currently I've been struggling with the fact that I have no girlfriends here in Fayetteville. I think I got spoiled in Eindhoven with always having Sheritha, Willemijn, or a number of others always a phone call or short walk away! And before that....well....I lived in a building with over 200 girls. No shortage there. Now Chris is my only friend. Well...in the physical sense. Phone calls, emails, and seldom packages from friends in faraway places will keep me on a friend "high" for about a day. Then it's back to work trying to find activities to do with Chris that won't leave us broke. I can't exactly make a cup of tea and sit with Chris for hours a day....talking about everything and nothing...and leave him feeling fulfilled. The idea of it makes me laugh. Yet that's how some my most precious friendships were formed.

It is just shy of 11 months since I left Eindhoven. And there are still some days I cry as I did walking in the airport on April 3, 2007. When does it stop?