Out of Commission

I've been really proud of myself lately. I joined Curves 3 weeks ago and have been going regularly every week with a friend from church. In fact, I've lost 10lbs since I've joined! Which is the news I got so excited about when I fell....

At Curves, there are 10 hydraulic workout machines that each works a different muscle group. But in between each machine is a "resting square", which is a 2x2 square that sits about an inch off the floor. I always start on one of these squares, running in place, to get my heart rate going. Well yesterday, I began running in place as Abby (Curves instructor) was checking my weight progress. When she told me I had lost 10lbs since I joined, I hooped and hollered, and more than likely waved my arms in the air. While doing so, I wasn't paying attention to where I was on the square, and my right foot slipped off unexpectedly. I immediately lost my balance, and fell down on my left side, hitting my right knee on the square on my way down. Once the fall was complete, I was sore, but having had this happen *multiple* times, I just rolled on my back, laughed out loud, and waited for the immediate pain to dull before getting up. Abby noticed my elbow was bleeding from carpet burn, so she left to get me a band-aid for that. Shawna (my friend from church) sat next to me, just shaking her head at my clumsiness and laughing with me as we joked about my clumsiness.

A few minutes later, Shawna attempted to pull me up into a sitting position, when I realized something was terribly wrong with my left hip. I could not sit in a 90 degree position, without being in excruciating pain. Then I realized I couldn't move my left leg at all...not to turn over, not to sit up, not to bend. I began to get scared, afraid I had popped my hip out of socket. However, I didn't want to alarm Abby. So I laid back down, and when Abby wasn't around, I whispered to Shawna that something was seriously wrong. She asked me if I wanted her to call her husband to come help, and I said yes. So she went outside to call him, while I continued to try and convince Abby I was fine. If I was laying straight, I wasn't in pain. So that's the way I stayed....trying to keep a smile/laugh going the whole time. Shawna's husband, Eric, showed up 5 minutes later and started asking me questions about my pain. He concluded that it wasn't my hip, but seemed to be my hamstring instead.

Eric and Abby helped me to my feet, which is when I then realized it was, in fact, not my hip. But once on my feet, I was unable to put my weight on my left foot at all. So using Eric as a support, he got me to Shawna's car, and they took me to their house. I called Chris and my parents to tell them what happened. My dad told me that according to my description, my hamstring had been pulled on "level 3"...the worst that can be done without ripping it. There was concern that I had ripped it, but that idea was ruled out when we could not find a knot on the back of my leg.

Chris called a medic from church, who said I needed to ice it for 24hrs, then put heat on it for a few days afterward. Needing pain medication was an understatement, and I was worried about how I was going to make it through a night of sleep without being able to move my leg! Going to the bathroom was not possible, as the back of my thigh was so swollen, I was unable to bend it at my rear. Fun stuff, that was!

Fortunately, the pain meds did their job, and I was able to sleep pretty well throughout the night. I have kept ice on it constantly, although the swelling doesn't seem to have gone down much. Here's the comical part. Apparently, due to the large amount of pain that pulling my hamstring has caused, I failed to realize how badly I had injured my right knee. Today, I decided to get in the shower, as I HATE feeling gross and unclean when physically limited. When I was in the shower, I looked down to see that my knee was....well...HUGE....and pretty ugly. I was kinda shocked. I knew it was a little sore...but good grief!! I had Shawna take pictures of it after I got out of the shower. In the left picture, the huge lump at the top is NOT my knee....but the swollen part of my leg under and to the left of my knee. My kneecap is actually the red circle/scar from a previous fall (yeah...it happens a lot :) ). To the right, is a picture looking straight down on the bruise/swollen part of my leg. Again, the knee cap is actually the small circle on the bottom left of my leg.

So yay for time off work! Too bad I had to pull my hamstring to get time off, though! Pray that I heal quickly and that this doesn't keep me down for too long!

Lesson #1

It appears as though word is out.

I was in discussion with a professor last Wednesday, when we both admitted our attempts to find a position at different institutions. While I didn't think twice about revealing his intention to leave, he felt rather comfortable expressing mine at a departmental meeting the next day. Ummmm....I had not planned on that being public information so soon....but...oh well! Lesson learned the hard way.

So for the past few work days, I have had individuals (even some not in the department where the announcement was made) who have come to me asking "if what they heard was true". The good news is that I now have a list of individuals who have offered to be references for me in securing another job. That feels quite nice. :)

So while I have not officially resigned, and nothing has been said to me by my boss(es), it seems as though it's becoming common knowledge. Who knows? Might be better this way. At least I have 5 weeks of transitioning out with people's awareness, instead of the normal 2!

Too Many Thoughts

I couldn't sleep last night, so I decided to play with my blog template for the first time. Although I was up until 4am, I STILL can't figure how to play with the title of the blog, as Kara and Allison do so well on theirs! I must be missing something. So now you'll just have to figure out why I decided to put a picture of "Dead End" at the top.

At least until I figure out how to make the title beautiful. :)

The Last Straw

I have always struggled with the distinction between not letting others run all over you...and sticking out the hard times. How do you decide when enough is enough?

I have been employed at Fayetteville State University since last October. When I began, I was the secretary for the Department of Marketing and Business Education as a temp under the Department Chair. A temp, only because she needed me to start immediately, and it takes time to make someone a permanent employee. However, within the month, I was told that they had begun the process of making me a permanent employee (complete with a yearly salary and full benefits).

May 15 of this year, my department split, and Marketing combined with the Department of Finance, while Business Education combined with Business Administration. I assumed that was the end of my position, but was told that they wanted to keep me, so they would create a position for me. At this point....7 months later....I was still not of permanent status. I was told that beginning in May, I would continue to work with Dr. Jewell (whom I had been working for since October), as well as with the Assistant Dean in the Pre-Business Program. Alright...works for me. The Assistant Dean then began piling projects on me, informing me that she was going to teach me "all she knew", so that I may transfer to the university's research department at the end of the summer and spend the upcoming year creating summary reports for FSU. Cool...I liked that idea. At that point, the assistant dean pushed for my permanent status to go through...and more progress was made.

One random day in June, I was asked if I knew anything about Second Life. I told them that I was familiar with the program, but not sure of all the details involved. They (Dean and Assistant Dean) were excited, stating that they were hoping to launch a trial run of a virtual classroom in the '08-'09 school year, and wanted me to development a virtual campus in Second Life, and learn to imbed projects in the "walls" of the Second Life FSU campus buildings. Wow...pretty awesome! So for two weeks, I did research on 3D equipment and Second Life maintenance costs. Shortly after, the Assistant Dean asked me to edit the cost list on the grant proposal they were writing for the funding to follow through with this idea. Low and behold...on that grant...was a request for $60,000 to hire an individual to do exactly what they had asked me to do. It was at that point, I realized I apparently was no longer included in this idea. You've got to be kidding me!

I kept my mouth shut and simply continued coming into the office everyday, no longer sure of what I was expected to do, or who I was to answer to. In July, the Dean walked into my office and informed me that I was now part of the "support staff" to the Dean's office. At that point, I questioned what had happened to the other propositions that had been made to me, and he blew them off, telling me that he didn't know what I was talking about. So now...I'm the THIRD secretary on call for the Dean's Office. Not so great. And in case you are wondering...I'm still a temp.

Last week....I get an email from the Dean, informing me that I am expected to personally assist a professor for the semester in writing a journal for our building. Two days after that, I receive an email (sent only to me) asking me to enroll in a 7-week online "class" on Adobe Acrobat 9, as I should consider myself the "point of contact for Administrative Tech Support". Let me summarize everything at this point. 6 different job descriptions expected in 3 months' time....6 different bosses to answer to on a regular basis....and still a temp.

But yesterday was the last straw for me. My old (and one of my current??) bosses (who my office is connected to) was in between meetings and asked me if I wanted to go to lunch. So we grabbed our things and ran out to grab lunch real quick before her next meeting at 1. When the 1 o'clock meeting was over, she came back to the office, packed up her things....and left to go across campus to another meeting. 5 minutes out of the office, she calls me from her car to inform me that she had been escorted downstairs by the Assistant Dean and told that she is not "allowed" to take me off campus to lunch unless she has asked permission from my boss. When. Dr. J asked who that was....the Assistant Dean proceeded by giving her SIX names of people with whom she was expected to ask permission before taking me out to lunch. She was then told that they "desperately needed me" to make copies for the 1 o'clock meeting, and because I was unavailable, they, themselves, had to skip their own lunch to prepare for the meeting. Mind you....I was in my office until 11:40am with no pressing projects. No one had acknowledged me, nor asked me to make preparations for the meeting. And yet....my boss...or old boss....whatever....was reprimanded for taking me out to lunch when they "needed" me. And not a single word was said to me. Not one.

But what if that had been Chris taking me to lunch??? Or my parents??? Would they also have been escorted out the building and informed that 6 people's permission had to be granted for me to leave?? I don't think so!!! My blood is boiling as I'm writing this, knowing that there are 5 other secretaries in the building that do not require permission to eat lunch, and are just as capable of pressing the "start" button on the copy machine. I'm done. That was it for me. It was all I could do not to hand in my resignation yesterday, after such a thing was done to an innocent party. But I gotta wait it out 3 more weeks. Then I'll submit 6 copies of my resignation letter to all of my "bosses", and announce my last day at this institute will be Friday, September 19.

I mostly needed to write this blog to see it in writing and make sure I'm not making this decision erraneously. If you are still reading...props. And if you have any opinion, suggestions, or comments...feel free to help me out. Right now I'm just trying to lay low and keep my mouth shut. I'm hoping my resignation letter will say it all....

Age or OC?

This past Sunday morning, in class...we discussed Ecclesiastes 4. Within the discussion, we were asked to list the loneliest groups of people in the United States. And someone mentioned 'singles' as being one of the loneliest groups in the states. But I didn't get it. Why? I have, within the past few months, truly realized how early my friends have committed themselves to starting a family. Along with the discovery of a newly engaged friend or expecting mother, an automatic rolling of the eyes takes place. Don't get me wrong. Love boys. Love the idea of marriage. Love kids. DON'T love the fact that I, myself, almost got married at age 20. An age at which I didn't have any credit history, had never lived outside the confinements of a curfew, and was not able to imagine my life outside of the church college group. And I wanted to commit the rest of my life to someone who knew as little about reality as I did? Awesome.

What I can't decide is whether it is due to the pressures of our American society to reproduce at an early age...or if OC (and other CofC universities) really is a marriage factory. My first freshman roommate is married with 3 kids. Freshmen that lived in my dorm while I was a Resident Director are already acting as Martha Stewart to the love of their life. I...on the other hand...am 25 and still have no desire to produce mini-me's. My nephew is good enough for me!

Not to say that individuals who choose to marry young shouldn't. I just can't comprehend how I would have gotten through it. I definitely would not have been able to experience western Europe for a year by myself. And I definitely don't consider myself lonely because I'm not married. I've never felt that way. And in Europe...it's considered the peak of your life! Getting married prior to age 30 is rare. Your 20's is a time to discover yourself and what you want out of life. I sure didn't know what I wanted at age 20...and it's unbelievably difficult for me to understand how others do.

Despite the ranting and raving...I have reached a milestone in my life. A full year committed to one guy! :) Who would have thought? So here's to my relationship to Chris, as we celebrate our first year together this weekend. And although it's in my plan to marry before I'm 30...don't expect to see any little ones running around in the near future...I've still got to visit Italy and Australia!